1. Everything is normal. Consensual sex, although not always healthy, is normal. Even the kinky shit. So before you go around saying what's repulsive and what's sexy, try that shit out.
2. There are a million different kinds of relationships. Probably a lot more. Some of them aren't healthy, some of them are disgusting and abusive. But there are a variety of types of relationships that ARE really healthy, and they don't always come in the package you expect. Forcing your relationship to emulate what you recognize from all those romantic comedies you've seen is way more tragic than being single. Believe me, I know this from personal experience.
3. Just because someone loves you, that doesn't mean the sex is going to be good. Alternately, just because the sex is good, that doesn't mean that somebody loves you.
4. On that same vein, the way that love manifests itself is different for every person you fall for. I continually notice myself falling into this pattern of playing along with what I recognize as love (according to my experiences) as opposed to letting it form itself according to the specific person I have those feelings for. It is incredibly stressful to keep trying to force something to fit into your plan.
5. This one is really the most painful realization: There is no such thing as a soul mate. It is all up to me to pick my relationships, and that is totally fine. There is a possibility I will someday get married, and also a possibility that the man I marry will turn out to be a coke-head that eventually runs off to Thailand to fuck 14-year-old she-males. But he might turn out to be a totally great father and maker of excellent sandwiches. I have no idea at this point. There is also a possibility I will fall madly in love with a 70-year-old lesbian. Maybe I will be alone for the rest of my life. Or maybe I will meet a nice group of turtles and want to spend the rest of my life taking care of them. I have no idea what, where, how, why, or when I'm going to find romance. Or if. And that is completely normal.
P.S. Let's use condoms to keep it extra normal, okay guys?
